II: Appendices continued…


My Brother and Father:

My brother died in March of 2005. He died of alcoholism alone in his cabin. After he died, I contacted him by going to the “tunnel” I see when I shut my eyes and focus on my third eye area. I went to the edge and shouted his name (silently) several times. In the far distance I saw something moving, very tiny and far off, coming toward me. I waited and it came close enough to see it was my brother, lying down flat, hands by his sides, his skin was grey and his eyes were shut.

He was an atheist in his life as far as I know. He probably had expected to just die and cease to exist, so when he left his body that is the pose he adopted, just shut himself down and lay still and grey. I called his name again and he saw me standing there. I took his arm and said, “Stand up, let’s go, I will take you to Dad. He’s in a place called The Park. Come on. I’ll take you. It’s easy.”

He stood up, accepting this strange intrusion into his death experience, and willingly let me guide him. He did not speak. He seemed to feel a bit confused but he stayed with me as we entered the Park, where I always picture it with grass and many rose gardens near where I always enter. We passed benches and flower beds and ponds and came to what I call the Picnic Place, by the ocean, lots of benches and usually many people there enjoying the oceanside ambience and eating and drinking coffee etc.  There always seems to be people around there.

I was astonished, nobody there to greet us. Then I was alarmed, thought, ok, I really have been imagining all this and now I have Tom here and I can’t find anyone for him. Help!! So I stood there and hollered for Dad and yelled and yelled for him, and was starting to really panic. Then I got the feeling the whole picnic area was some kind of stage set. Over at the end there were even the “wings” of the set. From around the back “wings” my Dad came. He did not look cheerful about this event. He looked like he had been dreading it. Anyway he came over to us and I said, well, here’s Tom, and neither of them knew what to say. So I said, uh, feeling kind of awkward, this had never happened before, I said Let’s go to Dad’s place, OK Dad? So we shot off to his lovely cabin where he lives with his two dogs and his fireplace and his nice set-up in some green rolling mountains. I walked in with Tom behind Dad. We stood by the fireplace for a minute and the two dogs were lying down in front of the fire. They didn’t seem bothered by us coming in.

Then my brother looked at my Dad and seemed to suddenly really come to life. He said “So, we can build things here?” He was catching on to the new reality fast. Dad said, “Yeah. We can build things.” I said I had to go and excused myself and shot off back to my home in beautiful B.C.

I take some pride and happiness in knowing I rescued my poor brother who really had a sad life and surprised him no end with some really, really great news…his real life was just beginning!

I have caught sight of him a couple times since then while exploring. He has been hanging out with a wide range of wildlife and enjoying the woods and forests there, he was a real outdoors guy when he was sober. He is loving the animals and helping them as they arrive there, trying to offer what healing he can.  I don’t know if Dad or anyone has introduced him to any healers or guides yet…anyway.

That’s my story of retrieving my bro. One of my happy things for sure. Used Bruce Moen’s method outlined in the appendix of one of his books. (www.AfterlifeKnowledge.com)

Since retrieving my brother and taking him to The Park, I have visited him a few times. I am not accomplished at conversing with people there much, and hope to improve in that area. A week or so ago, he “tapped me on the shoulder” so to speak while I was doing other stuff, I had not been to see him for quite a while, and so I took a few minutes to go drop in on him and see what he wanted.

First, he wanted to show me that he had built a home for himself, that is, a house type of home. When he first went to the park he built himself a forest, which is what he likes best, but now he has completed work on a cedar shake house, only he has left out one of the walls, overlooking the valley below his forest, so he can be in his house or he can move out onto his cedar deck by just walking out where the wall should be, you know? It’s kind of neat, only you could only do that in a part of the universe where you could control the weather!!

He was sitting out on his deck looking proud when I arrived and he mostly wanted to show me a couple other things, one is, he has of course been looking after traumatized animals since his “demise”, lots of wild and small animals, but now he has been given responsibility for a large herd of horses who have passed in difficulty. I could see them in the valley below his forest, and he had been sitting on his deck watching over them. They were very aware of us, kind of connected to him by some kind of invisible energy field, constantly aware of his caring presence there. One horse in particular drew my attention, must be the leader I guess, and this horse is sort of roughly a creamy color and has a black streak down his handsome nose, a very proud, large horse. The other thing he wanted to show me was, he is now growing marijuana and enjoying it. I guess alcohol does not work very well in The Park so he has been looking for an alternative, I guess to satisfy his cravings, I don’t know since I don’t converse well with them there yet, but he was happy and pleased and also kind of wanted to shock and maybe annoy me a little. Still a brother, ya know?

I have read somewhere that alcoholics who pass over still crave alcohol for a long time and it doesn’t work the same way on that body, which is very frustrating for the addict. I am guessing that my brother has started using marijuana as a way of settling himself down since he craves alcohol and it won’t work for him any more. They grow all kinds of plants there, so why not Mary Jane, I guess.

When you stop to think about it, addiction is a product of our imagination, just like astral travel to the Park is, and responses to sugar pills, and probably pretty much everything, so if I were an addict and went over there, and discovered how easy it was to build things using the power of imagination, I would for sure start trying to use my imagination to get my substance and enjoy it the same, but of course that body wouldn’t necessarily process any substance the same way as this body does…or this body has been trained to, by our imagination…this is where it all goes off course since our imagination is probably an imaginary thing anyway…I never seem to get any further than that, it implodes right there.

I also don’t know if my brother used marijuana in addition to alcohol while on earth. He did smoke all his life and deliberately sat down in his cabin alone to drink himself to death after a cancer in his kidney recurred, his body must have been in pretty awful shape when he began this next chapter of his life in the Park.

I haven’t been given any info on any healing time or hospital time or whatever he went through after I left him there the first time.


Now my sister Lorna has just passed away, she was in care with dementia for a few years. I am so relieved she has passed over . I went in for a few days to try to find her and see if she needed help. After about four days I finally connected with her. I took her, as usual, to the Park, where my brother and dad are.

I went to the tunnel (behind my third eye) and found her nearby, almost waiting for me, (I had taken her to the Park previously when she was in care quite a while ago, maybe she remembered it) and we found ourselves walking through the rose garden and to the picnic area, then I took her around the pathway curving to the left and to dad’s house.

Dad mentally telepathed to our brother, to tell him to come over, Lorna has arrived, and I left them there, it felt kind of confused and jumbled, I could not settle properly. Later in the morning, as I was dropping off for a dark-morning winter snooze, I found myself in a subterranean cavern with a large crystal clear pool in it. It felt familiar, like one I saw years ago during a reading for someone, but it was smaller and had only one visible storey.

The pool was very clean and clear and I walked around it and onward and felt a presence, looked to my right and there stood my sister, smiling at me. She approached me like, she had left dad’s house to go wandering and exploring and had gone into the cavern to look around. We hugged each other hard and walked out of the cave back to dad’s house and I told her how much I loved her and appreciated all she had done for me from childhood on.

At dad’s house we hugged, the three of us, in a big bear hug, felt great, my dad needs lots of hugs, and as I dozed there in my bed in my body, half asleep, suddenly I was looking at the flames in the firepan in dad’s fireplace, and realized they resembled gas flames of some sort, and we were sitting around the fire, my dad and sister and I, and my brother was there also, and we were having a hot drink and feeling like real family feelings, so good.




Yesterday, July 18, I had a telephone reading from a popular and effective Medium. (At time of putting this post on my blog, this person has since passed over, himself.) I’ll just mention the parts of the reading pertinent to this forum. You may have read about my brother’s retrieval and then about how he has been taking care of a herd of horses over the past year. I had mentioned that I could not find my mom or my daughter in the park, and couldn’t figure out where they were.

My dad was in the Park when I first went there, I didn’t take him there though, someone else must have done so a long time ago. Probably his own Guide, most likely.

Recently I took my sister Lorna to the Park when she died last December.

During the Medium reading, it was so amazing, the medium asked me, What is all this about Horses??? I replied I liked horses but didn’t know much about them. He said, your mom is here, she wants to tell you about the Palomino. Do you know what a Palomino is? I was not sure. He said, it is a Golden Palomino. I said, Like Trigger? He said Yes!! Exactly like Trigger!!

He said, your mom wants you to know she rides this golden Palomino. I was stunned!! My poor old mom, now full of vibrant good health, sitting tall and strong, riding a horse! A horse of her own, of which she was clearly very proud!!

At some point in the reading he mentioned the name Pegasus, the name of the legendary flying horse. I am guessing that is the name of my mom’s horse.

And then I remembered that my brother has been in charge of a herd of horses for a while, and I saw the connection!

I said that I had not been able to find my mom or my daughter since they passed, and I wasn’t sure they were even in The Park.

He replied, your mom and daughter have been so busy doing things, they have not been around when you were visiting.

The other interesting thing is, he said, Your mom says, Your father is still a Pain!! I laughed but I was surprised. I had somehow thought when we moved out of body at last we left all our differences behind. Apparently not! I have visited my dad a few times over there, he lives alone I think with two dogs, though he spends a lot of time with his family.

The medium said that my mom and my sister Lorna have been spending time together in order to try to resolve many of Lorna’s issues. She had a difficult childhood. She and mom were estranged for years.

Those were some of the highlights! Interestingly, today I happened for some reason to be going through a little box of ordinary jewellery, bits and pieces of stuff, and rediscovered a favorite ring I had not worn for a long time. It is a silver ring in the shape (quite lovely) of a beautiful horse, galloping along with mane flying! I was thrilled! That I should rediscover this ring a few hours after my mom telling me about her Golden Palomino!!

I was wearing it today when I went out for coffee, and couldn’t stop looking at it!! My mom felt very close to me.

My mom and daughter, through the Medium, have asked me to consider writing the story of my life. I feel it is impossible. I have no idea how to do it. They said they would help. But I still can’t see how to even start.

I am tired today. Sort of numb and very tired and just sitting staring at the wall. My cat is missing after the move, I had hoped the Medium could tell me where she is, but he said she might come home eventually if I keep asking her to come home.

There is no way in life to keep from experiencing losses. It is so infuriating. Last week I was throwing chairs and stuff at my guides mentally and emotionally. I am surprised they are still talking to me. Really it is insufferable, that no one looked after my cat. Including me.

(Later on, some time after I made the above post, I had a message from my brother in The Park, telling me that my  little black cat was safely under big brother’s wing!! Nice, eh??)


See FB page


 The Fallen Soldier and the Nurse
Before I type in this retrieval, I just want to write a reminder to those who read my note before about the Medium reading a few months ago.  I had been wishing there was some confirmation that the family information I was receiving during retrievals was genuine.

I finally did receive that confirmation, during the Reading when my mom (passed over) informed me that she had a golden palomino called Pegasus.

This helped to confirm the previous information, that my brother had eventually been given charge of a herd of horses as part of his continuing healing journey. I had wondered if I had imagined that but since no one in my family, including my mom, ever had anything to do with horses, I took the Pegasus information as confirming the other retrieval info I had gotten.

Today’s retrieval gave me more than I expected as I went “in” to just try to connect with my darling daughter, Lori, who passed over after a car crash in 1988.

After about fifteen minutes or more of messing about in general stuff, I observed a very high red-coloured mountain range, very wild and remote looking. It was high up, the clouds drifted around the top half of the range. I flew up and phased across the terrain, thinking it was like flying in a small plane over Vancouver Island where I live, astonishingly rugged and indescribably mountainous. It doesn’t seem like that down here where we all live, in agricultural and softer countryside.

After the retrieval was completed, I thought it was probably “Afghanistan-there”, which would explain the mountains, though I am not sure if Afghanistan has mountains that high. Or if the soil is reddish.

After flying over these mountains for a while, suddenly I noticed a change in the formation below me and saw what appeared to be the shape of a hut roof. I flew down and emerged into what was I guess an army hospital hut, very long, with beds running down the length of the hut on one side.

I had requested a connection to Lori before I started. She appeared before me in the hut, her beautiful blue eyes full of amusement as they always are when I am so stunned to see her.

I asked, Are you a nurse??? I was a nurse and found it very hard work. I had always suggested she do something different, and she had become a secretary. Now, it appears, she is into healing work.

She said, well, sort of. She led me to the bedside of a soldier who had been killed in action a very short time ago. The initials I got were Fr, like the first two letters of a name. That was all. He had one leg amputated. He was lying on his side looking depressed. He clearly did not know he had died and thought he was still in the army hospital.

When working with those who have died and don’t realize it, hospital staff “over there” often create a fake drama which gently reveals to the person that they are now on the other side and, usually, there are loved ones there who have died earlier, and are waiting to greet them.

Lori explained to him that they had a new way of restoring limbs. She said to him, we can get your body to actually re-grow your leg. A surgeon has just perfected the technique and it has been used successfully on several people. He wants to try to restore your leg.

The soldier was thrilled. Lori got him up, helped him on with his housecoat and one slipper, into the wheelchair and put a blanket over him. She wheeled him, myself following (the soldier could not see me I think), to a room where a male and a female surgeon stood waiting for us.

The male surgeon explained that this new technique was successful only if the patient were willing to be put into a light coma for a few weeks. There would be an IV supplied to ensure nutrition and fluids would remain balanced during the coma. During this time, the limb would regrow. The body needed all its resources to recreate the limb, and full consciousness would hinder the process.

They put him through a period of imagining his limb back in place. They showed him photos of himself taken previously, with both his legs. It was natural and easy for him to imagine having his leg back.

This was part of the fake “drama” the team had decided upon to help the soldier understand that he had died, and his new body would be whole.

The solder agreed to the coma. He was placed in bed and injected with something and drifted off to somewhere else. In fact, he was only unconscious for minutes and they woke him. His leg was back, whole, as before. He got out of bed at once, laughing and eager to try his leg. It was good as new, of course, as it was all etheric in fact. He still thought he was alive in the physical at this point.

Immediately, his grandparents came into the hut. Both had passed over and he had been at both their funerals years before. His grandmother was a very pretty woman with silver hair and a gentle smile, very slight and tiny. His grandad was short and wiry, with a good head of grey-white hair.

He said after the hugging stopped, but I was at your funerals. I don’t understand…then they told him he had in fact been killed in action and they were all here waiting for him. “We can go visit your mom and dad later”, they promised him. They walked him out of the hut and they dispappeared from view.

Lori and I were alone together and I asked her if mom was around. She said sure, and we were transported to a group of young women, some in Muslim headdress and some western women, sitting in a semicircle. My mom was talking to them. Her job was different from Lori’s but she was still involved in healing work, but with women. I interrupted her to give her a hug and look into her beautiful (now young again) face.









Posted in Afterlife Contact, AFTERLIFE EXPLORATION, ANIMAL INPUT, Life Story, Out of Body Practice, Soul Retrieval work | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bill Alexander/Bob Ross painting course

In October I took four classes from a certified Bill Alexander painting course instructor. This method, known in the old days as alla prima or wet-on-wet, involves putting wet paint on wet paint, so an entire picture can be completed in a few hours. The colors are gorgeous, techniques make sense and I did turn out a picture on each of the class days…to my own amazement and disbelief. I now know that I can actually learn this stuff, so am set up at home and today getting ready to put brush to canvas, a frightening thought. If I keep doing this, I can say I have finally found something to do that will make me forget everything else around me, including the CNN news, to which I am normally addicted. The “everything else around me” includes food, which I have always loved, being a Goat in the traditional Zodiac and also in the Chinese Zodiac. As we all know, goats eat anything, including the washing on your clothesline if you forget to lock the goat gate. So it is my fond hope that I will lose a few pounds as I turn out pretty pictures.

Some students go on to make good money from home with this hobby, although the sheer joy if anyone offered me money for one of my creations would be pay enough. On the other hand, it’s nice to feel you have something of value to offer other people too. 

Did I hang my four pics on my wall in a WalMart frame? No. I am a novice, and I made that mistake about thirty years ago and won’t do that again. While operating my beloved spa in the UK, to which many well known and highly placed people actually came to enjoy the homespun atmosphere, I painted a pic of my golden lab, Paddy, and hung it over the fireplace where eveyone from the Lieutenant-Governor (Cdn sp) of Aberdeen and shopkeeping millionaires had to look at it. 

Not one of those graceful souls made any comment whatever about my novice effort. On the other hand, not one person said, Gee it looks just like her. Wow, you should take up painting for a living. Well, maybe that was a good thing. 

Each life has certain experiences that are best forgotten, but are always the hardest ones to misplace in memory. That is one of mine. Yes, there is more than one of those! I could tell you stories about embarrassing moments…some people call them teaching moments. Or opportunities for growth.

I am going to try to put my four pics here on the blog, but I am not sure I can do it, being technologically challenged. Here’s hoping.

Posted in Creating Reality, In Love With Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment



Yesterday, July 18, I had a telephone Reading from a popular and effective Medium. I’ll just mention the parts of the reading pertinent to this forum. You may have read about my brother’s retrieval and then how he has been caretaking a herd of horses over the past year. I had mentioned that I could not find my mom or my daughter in the park, and couldn’t figure out where they were.

My dad was in the Park when I first went there, I didn’t take him there though, someone else must have done so a long time ago. More recently I took my sister Lorna to the Park when she died last December.

Well into the reading,the Medium asked me, What is all this about Horses??? I replied I liked horses but didn’t know much about them. He said, your mom is here, she wants to tell you about the Palomino. Do you know what a Palomino is? I was not sure. He said, it is a Golden Palomino. I said, Like Trigger? He said Yes!! Exactly like Trigger!!

He said, your mom wants you to know she rides this golden Palomino. I was stunned!! My poor old mom, now full of vibrant good health, sitting tall and strong, riding a horse! A horse of her own, of which she was clearly very proud!!

At some point in the reading he mentioned the name Pegasus, the name of the legendary flying horse. I am guessing that is the name of my mom’s horse.

And then I remembered that my brother has been in charge of a herd of horses for a while, and I saw the connection!

I said that I had not been able to find my mom or my daughter since they passed, and I wasn’t sure they were even in the park.

He replied, your mom and daughter have been so busy doing things, they have not been around when you were visiting.

The other interesting thing is, he said, Your mom says, Your father is still a Pain!! I laughed but I was surprised. I had somehow thought when we moved out of body at last we left all our differences behind. Apparently not! I have visited my dad a few times over there, he lives alone I think with two dogs, though he spends a lot of time with his family.

The Medium said that my mom and my sister Lorna have been spending time together in order to try to resolve many of Lorna’s issues. She had a difficult childhood in some ways. She and mom were estranged for years.

Those were some of the highlights! Interestingly, today I happened for some reason to be going through a little box of ordinary jewelry, bits and pieces of stuff, and rediscovered a favorite ring I had not worn for a long time. It is a silver ring in the shape (quite lovely) of a beautiful horse, galloping along with mane flying! I was thrilled! That I should rediscover this ring a few hours after my mom telling me about her Golden Palomino!! I must try to find out what she has named her horse.

I was wearing it today when I went out for coffee, and couldn’t stop looking at it!! My mom felt very close to me.

My mom and daughter have asked me to consider writing the story of my life. I feel it is impossible. I have no idea how to do it. They said they would help. But I still can’t see how to even start. Or why they would want me to.

I am tired today. Sort of numb and very tired and just sitting staring at the wall. My precious cat has been missing since we moved house, I had hoped the medium could tell me where she is, but he said she might come home eventually if I keep asking her to return.

There is no way in life to keep from experiencing losses. It is so infuriating. Last week I was throwing chairs and stuff at my guides mentally and emotionally. I am surprised they are still talking to me. Really it is insufferable, that no one looked after my cat. Including me.

(Later on, some time after I wrote the above post, I had a message from my brother in The Park, telling me that my little black cat was tucked safely under big brother’s wing!! Nice, eh?? Wherever she is, she is not alone.)


 This is a simple, gentle and non-invasive way of helping those who are near death for long periods of time but seem to hang on and on, and in great discomfort and sometimes fear.

If you want to offer someone who is terminally ill reassurance that death is not to be feared, and that they are safe in letting go, this is how I, at least, go about it.

Many will find these techniques puzzling and unbelievable. Why? Because they are based in the power of the human imagination.

The power of Pretending cannot be overstated. If you are a student of the many metaphysical Masters offering all types of courses these days, you will realize that Imagining clearly what you want and pretending it has already come to pass, is a vital step in the manifesting process.

So it is with assisting the terminally ill.

There is no need to talk to the patient about this. If they are not interested, they will not join you, or if they choose to “hear” and “see” you and go with you to explore the Beyond, they will still make their own choice based on their new knowledge…that knowledge will likely remain buried in their subconscious and they will not discuss it, nor should you try to discuss it with them.

To attempt to intervene physically with words in any form, would be borderline illegal, unethical, and probably quite disturbing to the patient and family.

So this is a practice that takes place in your own psyche, silently.

You are connecting with the etheric body/mind of the patient on a non-physical level entirely.

This is what I do:

I decided one day to take my atheist mom, who had lain in hospital for years with a series of strokes, to The Park so she could explore it with me a little, perhaps meet her Guides and hopefully run into some of her own loved ones who had passed over.

One afternoon I lay down on my bed and went into a quiet meditative state. When I had opened my third eye and opened the tunnel (which is always there), I sought an area of the non-physical I particularly enjoy. This is an area which appears deep red and dark black, and which moves in mesmerizing, soothing waves that always take me deeper.

Not everyone accesses this particular area, it is just one that I like and try to visit often.

If you choose to practice entering the Afterlife via these methods, you will find other areas you like.

When I was calmed and my rattling, busy mind was finally quiet, I imagined myself standing at my mom’s bedside.

Taking her hand, in my imagination, I softly invited her to come with me for an enjoyable field trip, out of the body. I assured her she would return to her body at any moment when she wished to and that her body would function fully as usual while travelling with me.

Holding her hand, I gently tugged so she could easily move out of body if she wished to. These patients have always, so far, wanted to get out of their body and go somewhere more interesting.

As we moved away from the bed together, I said, “There is a lovely place called The Park where there are terrific rose gardens I’d love to show you. Let’s shoot over there for a few minutes.”

The next minute, I “saw” the edge of a massive landform in space. The place I usually choose to enter (although sometimes I do enter right at the picnic benches by the ocean instead) has an inviting, carefully tended rose garden with willows and pools, birds, and sweet perfume on the air.

Just like you’d imagine it!!

We step onto the path through the roses and occasionally we stop and smell the roses! The coral colored ones are my favorite, though the white ones are stunning too.

Then we access a grassy path/trail that winds around a low mountain from which we can look down on a small city. We can see buildings and temples, fountains, flowers, lawns, and people moving about.

There do not appear to be gas-powered vehicles of any kind in The Park. Perhaps they could be created, if you wanted one, I don’t know. No one has, so far, that I am aware of. You don’t need them to shoot around, of course. Everyone can fly by some kind of telepathy instantaneously. Just as I can while in that state.

If no one appears to talk with us as we move along the trail, then I head for the picnic benches and the ocean, where someone always appears for the patient who is with me.

At some point, then, as I continued this Pretending, Imagining the trip together, which is surprisingly easy to do, suddenly someone approached us. Someone I do not know, had never seen before. In mom’s case, I think it was one of her Guides. Sometimes it is a relative or friend.

They always know the patient and they are delighted to see each other. They always stand chatting for a bit and at this time, I excuse myself and make sure that this person will accompany the patient “home” back to their body with no problem when they are ready.

That is all I do. After that, I leave it alone and usually within three to eighteen months, they choose to leave Earth permanently and head to The Park, or to the person they met there that day.

There are two people I did this exercise for who have chosen not to leave. That is their prerogative, and none of my business. I just make sure they have the opportunity and the knowledge and reassurance they need, so that they know Death is not to be feared.


When I began this Quest, on July 30, 1989, when my daughter appeared in my apartment, I was a firm atheist. To be shown beyond all doubt that there IS an Afterlife and that people can travel to and fro, talk to us, continue on in their own personalities (not disappearing into the God force as some believe, thought that might happen by choice as development continues on) and that we apparently are IMMORTAL beings, these new awarenesses made an immeasurable difference to my life.

For one thing, I gradually realized the incredible wonder of being born…the gift of life…that it means that this personality, ME, not as I was in some past life, but me right now in the 21st century, this ME that is sitting here typing, will live forever.

By virtue of having been born of earthly parents, their feet made of clay, imperfect, flawed and wonderful all at once, just by that one thing, I have been placed in God’s star-sprinkled universe for all time. For some reason, I am that special, that beloved, that valuable.


The Me I tried to destroy more than once as despair overcame me at times.

That person could never be destroyed. I now realize that.

Those I love on Earth, and those I…have trouble with!

All are precious beyond measure, all are immortal, all reach and aspire and struggle to improve, develop, do better next time.

All are worthy of PUL…Pure, Unconditional Love.

I learned that animals, too, live on forever, despite religion arguing to the contrary.

My pets await me there. When my little old black cat passes on, her warm furry body and little paws no longer sleeping beside me in my bed, she will arrive on those beautiful shores where my brother, Tom, will be waiting to scoop her up and add her to the menagerie he already is caring for.

My brother, who disapproved of everything about me all our lives here on Earth, now loves me so much that he took special care to protect her when she was lost, and made sure that she was returned to me.

They were watching. They knew my suffering and sorrow when she was lost. They knew every scary dark night she slept alone under logs and hidden in deep brush.

By the way, one of the other things all this means is…There is no privacy!! Discovering this new aspect of Life, we know we might as well quit worrying about privacy. There can be no such thing on the metaphysical level.

So many things come with this new knowledge. When it is time to let go of physical life, how easy that will be, knowing that tomorrow I will be riding the little black mare my family gave me for a gift, waiting for me over There. Knowing I will be eating ice cream in The Park, watching the sun glitter and sparkle on that ocean. Knowing I can wrap my arms around my beautiful daughter, also now immortal…because I gave birth to her.

Knowing that, after all, Lori achieved her heart’s desire to get to know her family. To work in her chosen field, whatever that may be.

Knowing that after I release my breath at last, Lori and I can finally sit down together and have that conversation. I can ask her what happened in the Children’s Homes. I can ask her what troubled her. I can apologize for not being able to communicate better, to be a more perfect parent.

And I can see my darling sister Lorna again, now free of debilitating old age and memory problems, Lorna as she was, brimming with life, caring for others, protecting the weak and vulnerable.

Lorna, who also had to tread her learning path, growing in grace as she aged. Though when I remember her loving kindness toward me, her little sister, so many times when we were both young, before her disaster when she fled home, I find it hard to believe she ever needed to grow in grace. 

And she will have her beautiful auburn hair again, swinging when she tosses her head, and she will look as before…so lovely!

I will come to know my mother and father I never did while we were all here. Forgiveness, apologies, sorrow for my failings as a daughter, for my judgemental attitude, my unkind words I would dearly love to take back even now!!

And knowing that I can visit with them all, and others as well…old friends. Boyfriends I once loved and made love with! Old girlfriends I have not seen for years, people I have lost touch with.

Many of these will be in that area and over further experience (I hesitate to use the word Time) I will find areas where the rest are.

I will be able to sit in a beautiful natural setting under the Sun and Moon and talk and share and love all these people…and all my pets.

I wonder, sometimes, if Udo, the precious dog I so neglected, will be there. Or will he be with the family who lost him to the thief, Wilf Armitage.

And I, myself, will be young again. My waistline will be 26 inches again! Imagine! Whatever I wish. I will be able to run and jump over logs in the forest again, to play badminton, to sail without being seasick, whatever I want.

And I will be able to go to University and learn to paint and play music and argue philosophy…whatever I want. It’s all there. Actually, I hate philosophy, so maybe I won’t bother with that one. 

Everything people have created, are now creating even as we share this page.

One of my dear friends here on earth, who has now passed over, Garth, used to sit in his favorite chair here on Earth and put on music or a good movie…and channel it to his beloved wife and friends in The Park. He learned those skills after a great deal of work.

He used to set up a time and date to channel things he thought they might enjoy over There, and the notice would go round The Park…be at such and such a place at a certain time and Garth would be channeling some great movie or whatever. He told me there would be considerable gatherings for these events, and others, he said, did the same.

Well, to say that my Quest has been fulfilled is an understatement. I, the confirmed Atheist, learned far more than any imagination could have prepared me for.

There is no fear of Death when this knowledge enters. Of course, we all hope to die painlessly and quickly…preferably in our sleep. Except perhaps for a few brave and reckless souls who prefer to die “with their boots on”. Whatever you want.


Greyhound Bus:

I used to be going somewhere on the Greyhound bus, chugging along the highway, and I would be “daydreaming” that I was outside the bus, as though on a horse, and flying along, competing with the bus for speed, for the fun of it. And I used to think it was just a daydream although the sheer speed sensation was very delightful and real..but suddenly I would “see” what was about 4 or 5 miles up the road further, and when we got there…there it was, just like I “saw”. It used to puzzle me, because I didn’t feel like I had a body out there, but now I realize I was a point of consciousness. And in the retrieval the other day, flying over the forest toward the cliff where Kathy Carreira fell, I again had no sense of body though I was abruptly, suddenly, flying over the forest after struggling to get out of my body and do something. No sense of body, just a mind flying along.

Just off subject but interesting I guess, is when I was at TMI doing Gateway back in 2000 one of the things I saw in the darkness of the CHEC unit was one of the “Greys”. A great many people see the Greys. They are like people, but I guess from somewhere else in the galaxies…tall and slender, at least the ones I have heard about and seen, and bald heads…hairless people. I think when we see them we maybe aren’t seeing clearly or all the details but anyway, I was attempting to enter the Afterlife while in my CHEC unit that day and as I entered these buildings, I passed a desk at which sat a Grey, who looked at me very bored…they always know when students are incoming it seems. Other students that day also saw them and sometimes at home when meditating I would see one taking note of me in passing…I just don’t understand how all this is laid out, I mean it must be layers of reality or something. Bob Monroe and Bruce Moen both talk about the visitors who are watching earth’s events unfold (from a safe distance, it sounds like). So maybe they are assisting in the AL as part of our development.


This was one of the most memorable trips I have made while phasing or OBE’ing.

One day I was contemplating the Grays, who I have perceived once or twice while phasing or visiting the Park. They are frequently at an entryway office type of structure I have encountered while entering one of the Focus levels, I can’t remember which though. I am not good at knowing which Level I am at anyway.

One day I got the notion of daring to try to phase outward to a far off galaxy, to the original home of the Grays. I wondered what would happen if I dared to try such a thing. Some say the Grays are often quite crabby anyway. Well, so are we, to put it mildly!! That’s probably what they say about us I expect.

I was a bit nervous but I thought, hey, I never failed to return to my body yet. I’ll try. So I lay down for a while and thought about the two or three Grays I had seen while phasing previously.

I thought about the fabulous photos of the Milky Way I’ve seen, taken by astronomers. I imagined a faraway Galaxy by combining pictures of the Milky Way, imagery from Star Wars,  and other photos of faraway space which I have seen sometimes.

I also used the wonderful imagery from the movie Contact where Ellie approaches the golden world in the shining galaxy where she weeps and says “Beautiful…So Beautiful…I had no idea.”

As I pondered these images, I found myself suddenly in a very foggy image, which often happens to me in strange places where I can hardly hold onto the image, a lot of fogginess and vagueness, I was inside a private home of two of the Grays. I realized at the same time that this was imposing our cultural expectations on them and their planetary culture…namely, that of couples inhabiting a home and having a family.

I could only “see” the upper bodies and heads of the two grown up Grays. They seemed bemused and surprised but not hostile, angry or wanting to kick me out or anything. They seemed very patient…very like the Gray I have encountered at the Entryway to one of the Focus levels. A bit bored and like, “Oh here’s another one, they’re all over the place…well, it seems to be our job to be patient and try to assist…” They tolerated me in their “home”, if that was what it was.

I felt grateful and a bit vulnerable. After all. What would I think if one of them turned up in my home unexpectedly. As a matter of fact, two of them did once…at a very sensitive moment so to speak and I was furious and dismissed them (an adult and a child) without any apologies and admonished them never to do that again. Like, I have the power, right?

As I hovered in their home for a few moments, hanging on for dear life in case I lost it and zoomed back into my body, I realized there was a little Gray standing in the room over to the right. He (seemed to be a little “boy” to me) stood without fear, just looking at me. Maybe this happens quite a bit over there!! Us intruding, I mean. I was totally overcome to see a Gray child in his own home on his own planet.

(Was I really on his planet? Who knows?)

As I looked at him and looked with gratitude at the parents watching me without fear or condemnation, I suddenly and inexplicably yearned to take him in my arms. Knowing this was perhaps crossing a personal boundary and I might be in trouble, I moved toward him, knelt down in awe and adoration, and could not help myself, I drew him to me and held him tight. My face was awash in tears. I sobbed and could not stop sobbing. The emotion of overwhelming love flowed through me and into him in terrible gratitude and wonder.

A small life, a dear, precious little life, faraway on another star system. Life burgeoning, unstoppable, everywhere, unkillable, the force of love everlasting.

The parents and the child accepted this unplanned demonstration of LOVE quietly and calmly, but with some anxiety, I felt, too.

I let go of the child, turned to the parents, and then suddenly I was back in my body. WHAM.

I lay there with my face wet with tears for a while, feeling my whole body impacted with the force of the emotion I had felt, the love I had poured out to the child.
The gratitude and awe.

Then, feeling sure I had imagined the whole thing (I mean, really, of course I imagined the whole thing! I still think so!) I reached for a special set of tarot cards I keep by my bed, it’s a set by Rae Hepburn, Tea Leaf Fortune Cards, and shuffled and selected a card, asking, Was that experience Real, or did I just make it up?

The answer came in the form of the card :

Handshake – A meeting with a Stranger Could be Important.

It showed a picture of two hands reaching out across outer space, from a planet with a moon in a crescent shape to a far-off planet with a round moon. The hands reach out through galactic clouds and far distances to shake in comradeship across vast spaces.

I cannot tell you how I felt when I drew that card. I felt blown away and frightened, humbled, having partaken of an event I was not developed enough to understand.

I have never forgotten the little Gray child. Or the huge ocean of emotion that poured through me to “him” (if it was a “boy” in fact.)

I have never posted this before because it seems so Far Out!!


There was a situation in which I used angelic beings once several years ago, and the result was unbelievable. A violent, abusive, hopeless situation was totally healed for about ten days straight, because the house became filled with angel beings who also hovered over the house and filled up our hearts. Everything in the house changed for about ten days.

I remember looking at the evidence that this could be used continually to keep healing the situation, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe I deserved this help. I was embarrassed to keep asking. Of course it rapidly deteriorated after a while back to the same old, same old.

But I never forgot the incredible transformation in the behavior of the abuser with all those angels around. Proving, he needed love very badly and was getting it from them. When my confidence wavered, he lost his source of love energy…it was up to me to keep it coming.

So then, when I think about all this, it seems to me, we have, like, a TOOL to use and we have a responsibility to use it, often, for healing of difficult and painful situations we encounter for ourselves and others. It seems there is no limit to the number I can call on, that night, I called “Calling All Angels, Calling All Angels” and imagined hundreds of them coming in to caretake our home.

So that is probably just the use of conscious awareness of LOVE and using it to make things better.


There isn’t much left to tell you. Well, I’ve kept a few secrets, of course. Some, just because they are ordinary boring stuff and some because, well, there is a limit to the amount of personal exposure we are willing to brave.

It is, I think, unattractive to expose too much. A little mystery must be held close to one’s chest.

But if you have read every page of this tome, you know me as well as my very best friends do.

You will have disapproved of things here and there no doubt. I have avoided dwelling on various boyfriends who turned out to be meaningless relationships, and whether I should have let them into my bed or not. I have avoided talking about my two abortions, painful but necessary experiences in my own opinion.

For those who fiercely disapprove of abortion, I must mention that, as far as I can ascertain at this point, if we are choosing to re-enter Earth’s challenging atmosphere yet one more time, and the parent of our choice decides to renege on the unspoken contract by choosing abortion, we simply select another suitable parent, one who is more committed to the baby experience.

There is no trauma to the soul/spirit of the unborn child in abortion. They have a massive pool of possible parents to select from, and not only parents, but countries, cultures, religions, body types, genders, disabilities, whatever you can think of. The opportunities are endless for a soul seeking re-entry.

(On the other hand, I can think of some testimonies I have read from people who have had Near Death experiences, and they discover, to their great surprise and happiness, that they have children over there, who are growing as the years pass into adults, in the afterlife…having been aborted for some reason or other. So, I don’t know about the discrepancies here, just more stuff that I don’t understand.)

The discovery of personal Knowns, replacing personal Beliefs, which you will discover if you pursue this path of Afterlife Knowledge, will challenge a multitude of your approaches to life as well as death.

So immense can this experience be, that sometimes we need counselling and much time to adapt to all that this new field of knowledge carries as its vast, curling wave sweeps toward the shore of our established cultural life.

There are so very, very many of you out there, who cannot imagine living a life like mine, so full of change and challenge. Who have lived lives full of quiet common sense, good judgement, sound parental training for life, and steadily managed investment funds.

Some of us find ourselves as babies, born onto a wild beach with thundering tons of water pouring around our little ears as we began a lifelong gasp for breath that never seems to end.

And we make it through somehow, and discover the wonderful nature of life, no matter how difficult.

I prize my daughter’s life, being lived to the full and beyond…somewhere I cannot go, not yet. Somewhere different from this in many ways, but so much the same in many ways, too.

And when I remember her unexpected, life-altering appearance in my apartment that day, July 30, 1989, one year after her “death”, I recall how I troubled myself …did she have her hair cut the way I liked it, or was she still wearing it with her bangs (fringe if you’re British) in her eyes?  After she disappeared, I could not remember. But looking back over those years, so many years now, I think she had her bangs cut…I think.

Next time I saw her, caring for a wounded soldier who had yet to understand that he had died…I was pleased to see that she looked thoroughly professional from the top of her golden head to the tips of her spotless shoes.

Once a mom, always a mom.

That’s the way it is, folks.

P.S. It’s always the right time to begin again.

PPS: The Medium I mention in the book has passed away.

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APPENDICES: The Art of Rescuing Stuck Pilgrims


Young Woman Falls Over Cliff in Winter

Beginning my retrieval session, I settled down quietly, closed my eyes and moved into Focus 10, then 12, then 15. I offered to assist any Guide who could use my help with any deceased and “stuck” person.

after a long time, I finally was flying over a vast forest, I felt scared, it was really, really wild country and far from any place I knew. Then I saw and “felt” that I was scrambling for balance on the very edge of a cliff, the edge of the cliff was giving way, I couldn’t get my balance, I sort of tripped or something, and then I was a long way from the cliff and watching as someone fell and fell and fell, the mountain side was sheer and thousands of feet to the bottom. There was snow, it was wintry. I floundered around there in the air far above the scene for a few minutes, blocked by something, could not move downward, but struggled against the block and suddenly I was actually already down on the ground looking at a frozen figure, cloaked entirely in ice. It was sitting upright, its arms around its knees, its head half down, dejected and lost, very bewildered and very very cold. The ice was so thick it felt like I could not get through to the person but I approached and said, “Hello” and spoke very firmly and said they should get up, get to their feet, I would help them up.

The figure got up and suddenly the ice was gone and I could see the person, it was a woman dressed for the mountains, a young woman, perhaps in her thirties, she said her name was Kathy. Kathy Carreira. She was blonde with green eyes. I told her she had passed out of her body (hard to lie under the circumstances) and she flashed a furious look at me, she was very hard, this girl, athletic hard I mean, solid as a rock, very fit and healthy and very smart and no-nonsense. A lot of confidence, beyond my own experience.

She had on some sort of brown outfit, warm and expensive and made for adventures in rough places. The outfit also had leather belts, like around her waist, a wide heavy leather belt, a heavy leather strap going up over her shoulder, and so on, I don’t know the purpose of the leather strapping she wore. She was quite beautiful in fact and definitely an intimidating woman, used to power. I tried to behave confidently and kept hold of her arm and guided her out of the woods and took her to The Park. At this point I don’t know any place else to take people. She was indignant but didn’t know what to do but obey me. She was a bit confused but not about to take any nonsense from anyone either. I moved quickly because I knew if I fiddled around and tried to persuade her much, she would refuse to go with me.

I got her into The Park and, to try to help her understand she was dead, but in fact, still alive in a new but real sense, I asked her to stop for a moment and I lifted a rose branch toward her. “Smell these roses”, I said. “They’re great.” They were white, heavy, old fashioned roses. She smelled them and said, “They smell wonderful.”

We moved toward the Picnic Area and as we moved down the path to the benches and the people, a man stood out from the crowd, a dark man with a moustache, handsome and again, definitely a dominant, confident type, but very gracious, and moved toward us and said “Kathy!” She immediately moved away from me toward him, saying “Uncle Fargas!” (A name I have never heard in my life). I left her in his care and as I turned around and hurried away back down the path, I heard him say “Tell me what happened”.

If I had to extrapolate further on the experience of meeting her, I’d say my “sense” of Cathy was that she was some sort of police person, like FBI or something and was working when she fell. That is just a sense, and probably because she was a powerful young woman in herself and accustomed to being in control of things.

What I didn’t say was that as I flew over that forest and felt like it would go on forever, and felt a bit scared, I was relieved to catch sight of a wide clearing in the forest and a cabin away off in the distance, and then suddenly I was in that body trying to get my balance on the cliff edge, and my feeling is she had been staying in that cabin.


 In the distance there is a factory town, smoke coming up into the sky from the chimneys. There is a little boy riding in the back basket of a bicycle. He looks about 4 years old. Lots of traffic driving by fast. A man is on the bicycle. I don’t see what happens.

The little boy is suddenly somewhere else in space. I can see galaxies in the distance and possibly the Milky Way. He seems to have been knocked right out of his body by something. He is still in the basket on the back of the bike but I can’t see the front of the bike any more. I reach out my hand and put my hands under his arms and lift him out and put my arms around him.

He seems quite shocked, he is not fighting me.I get the name Foi. We are now in a home somewhere in China, a Chinese woman is preparing a meal, his mother I think, a square sturdy table with a white cloth on it, she is at the stove, she does not know what has happened. I have the boy with me.

An elderly Chinese man enters through a wall in the kitchen, he has a long beard and a brown robe, like pictures of very old Chinese men that you see, and he seems to be a relative of the boy’s, he approaches us and indicates, without words, that I should give him the boy, the little boy seems to know him and his face lights up, maybe a grandpa or favorite uncle, and he lifts the boy up lovingly and with serious expression on his face, and leaves via the wall with the child. I am left in the kitchen with the mother cooking the meal, she is unaware of anything being wrong.

Soon someone will knock on her door with the unwelcome news.Wish there were something we could do to assuage the incoming grief of those left behind.


OK, I think it is downtown NY, I recognize up the street the Nasdaq sign that I see on the news sometimes. Some guys have come out of a restaurant, some are fighting with others in the group, a guy is being pushed by the others, on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant, the one guy is wearing a tight black sweater, young, maybe late 20’s, Asian, good looking guy, maybe Korean or Taiwanese, someone grabs his arms, pins his arms behind his back, he is furious and wants to just have a go at this other person, I can’t see the other person, I seem to be way up high in the sky on top of a skyscraper looking down at this, they are out in the street in the traffic, yelling at each other, a yellow cab and another car both hit him at the same time, he is lying in the road, in the street. I don’t see anything else yet.

OK there is a policeman on a motorcycle just come up, more than one, two I think, there is a bus has had to stop, a busload of people, traffic tie up. I see this guy, he is scared, he is out of his body, very aggressive, can’t see who I am but wants to take a swing at me too, he feels very aggressive, he doesn’t understand what is going on.

For some reason he is sitting in a vehicle and he is wearing some kind of helmet. He is in a racing car, I think he is a racing car driver. Maybe professional, maybe not, drives cars for testing purposes or competitions. He climbs back out of the car and throws his helmet down in disgust, he can still see me there and I really don’t know what to do, you know, he does not welcome my presence at all, doesn’t seem to understand that anything has happened to him, he is sort of rubbing his forehead now, looking around, one hand on his hip, looking around, rubbing his head, looking at nothing, we are in a black place.

Someone has appeared, thank goodness, a light person, my first experience of seeing a light person in a retrieval, a long stream of light, and an arm is sort of out, like, you know, sort of stuck his thumb back over his shoulder, like a hitchhiker would, like, come on we are going that way, to the guy, and the guy is not looking at me now, he is focussed on this light being, the guide is speaking to him in a very familiar relaxed way, seems to be someone he recognizes and the guide is smoking a cigarette and wearing some sort of cap and wants him to go with him and he forgets all about me and steps out in step with the guide and now I am, for some reason, still present with them and entering a building somewhere, a sort of military seeming place.

I am not needed any more but being taken anyway, being taken along for the ride, entering the building up in elevators, men with rifles, at attention, military place and yet this guide is not exactly super-military looking kind of guy, our guy is looking around nervously, saying what is up, where are we? And they stand looking out the glass sides of the building, outside you can see either a dam or a huge waterfall, maybe a dam, we could even be in a control building for a large dam in a dictatorship country, I don’t know where this is, don’t know if they still want me to be here, um, the guy is kind of scared, obviously he is in trouble of some kind and he is expecting to be in trouble.

I am just going along to see what is happening, there is an awful lot of testosterone in this building! You know, I think this is Korea, I think his friend has taken him to a place in Korea that he knows, this is certainly a military regime, soldiers all over this building, he is being told to sit in this chair, he obeys and sits down, I think he is on trial, he expects to be in trouble I think, there he is, he is on trial, a courtroom here, going through some sort of process, he seems to expect this, reason he was fighting in the street, trying to get away from kidnappers to avoid this very thing, fighting to escape from them, facing charges, this is what he expects, doesn’t know he is dead, doesn’t know what is going on, a courtroom, men at a long desk in front of courtroom, a military person, man, approaches him with a sword, he is holding the sword on his hands, like, the sword is resting on his two hands, the hilt on the outstretched palm of his right hand and the end of the blade on the palm of his left hand. They present him with the sword, offer it to him and it is quite clear he is to despatch himself, execute himself instead of being executed.

He is very upset, overcome with despair and terror, leaning forward toward the floor, leans down, one hand touching the floor, and I see that he has been beheaded. He was already dead but for some reason, he created this out of his own expectations but he has been posthumously executed if that is possible and I was allowed to come along for the ride and see this strange event, now he is dead and he understands at last that he is dead and was executed. That is quite convoluted.

I am seeing a long, long, long rope bridge, quite impossible, stretches from one mountain across a huge chasm to another mountain, streams of Asian people going across it, we are in a place he expects to be, I wonder why they go to so much trouble for one person when there are obviously kazillions of people out there who are stuck and need to be retrieved, why spend so much energy on each person, anyway, who knows, I am quite tired out.

These people must be going from C1 (our current state of consciousness) to the Afterlife, but this bridge exists in his own mind after he has been killed, this is where he goes so he is creating all this. And he understands he is dead and he died in the way he thought he would die. My brain Interpreter is getting in the way. Now I see a stained glass window and a towering cathedral…I dunno…time to quit.


 I am seeing an old deserted mine on a rather bare hillside somewhere. The shaft is sunk into the mountainside and I see a long metal channel leading from the shaft down to the ground, which would have carried all the mud and dirt etc down from inside the mine. On the left side of the shaft a fence made of fence posts and wire comes down the hillside marking the mine boundary or something.

I am seeing various forms of bird life, small birds and large birds of prey, indicating difficulties encountered by the bird life due to the mine’s operation. This scene reminds me of the Zorro movie where they have all these captives working in the mine as slaves. The focus I am getting is the need for a hero to ride to the rescue.

Now I see a log boom and the sky above the log boom is full of northern lights, flashing and dancing in the sky. For some reason.

Now there is a circular shaped elevator which took men up and down the mine shaft. I see a slide has occurred inside the mine. There are signs of a slide right near the elevator shaft.

I am outside looking up at a high cliff. Mesa is the word that comes and over top of the mesa comes shooting through the sky,a shooting star or else a flare.

I see a man with a pickaxe beside him, sitting in the mine near the slide area. He is a rugged looking guy, sitting among the dust and rubble of the slide, coughing. He wears muddy trousers, covered in mud, and an old checked shirt, twisted around on his torso and the collar hanging open toward his left shoulder.

And there is an old fashioned train on a track which runs cross-ways from the front of the mine, some distance from the shaft and the train is waiting there, got one of those old boiler stacks or something, on top of the locomotive, waiting for a load or someone, or something.

Now foul weather. Sky is overcast, high winds, lashing rain.

I am seeing inside the shaft, the man sitting there with his breath heaving, he is exhausted, one of his legs is possibly broken, he sits with one knee bent up and the other is straight out. He is either exhausted or in pain, can’t tell which.

I can see down the tunnels, I can see there is a little track inside where the trolley comes and goes to deliver the “stuff” they have mined up to the shaft.

Does the mine have a name I ask? All I get is the word Lea.

(In looking up mine disasters and trying to find the name “Lea” the only mine I can find that sounds like that is LeHigh Mine Disaster of 1912. Don’t know if this is the correct one or not. But here is the link if you are interested to read about it: http://www3.gendisasters.com/oklahoma/12551/lehigh-ok-coal-mine-explosion-feb-1912)

There is a bit of light where he is, I think the lamp on his hardhat is still working. He is aware that someone is with him, namely me, but he seems to be drifting into unconsciousness, struggling to remain awake.

I see a flying horse come out of his dreams, his mind, a horse with wings, a beauty, it has flowers braided into its mane. In the darkness of his mind, it stands beside him on the floor of the shaft.

He is looking at this horse, thinks it is the horse he had as a boy, come to get him. He tries to get up but can’t because of his leg and I watch as he just rises out of his body, leaving a shell behind. He stands by the horse in spirit, so happy to see this horse, talking to it, he gets on the horse and they just streak off and I am with them to see what happens.

Looking at his body left behind in the mine, which has still got some life force left in it, and his eyes are shut, he breathes with difficulty, I think his ribs are broken, his body is failing fast now.

I see he has died, his body has died.

I see the mine shaft, resembling a tomb with a gravestone rolled in front of it.

And now there is a fire in the mine shaft, clouds of black dirty smoke pour out, it is a real fire in the mine.

I would like to know where the miner has gone on the horse.

The miner has taken on the form of the boy he once was, riding his horse once again, chosen this age immediately to be the boy riding his beloved horse again. I am with them, want to see where they go.

They are galloping around a globe of the world in a miniature sense, like the horse is a carousel horse and in the middle of the carousel is a big globe of the world, looking at the continents and cities as they go, in his imagination, when he was a boy he used to dream he was riding his wonderful horse all around the world. He is reliving that fun.

Here is a cottage. Nice little house. Got a little creek running in front of it, a wooden bucket there by the ditch/creek. You have to walk across a little bridge to get in the front gate, and it is all well and solidly made of stone, a good solid fence in front of the house and a vegetable garden, some sort of granite or stone in the fence posts at the gate, a little paved walk to the front door.

I see there is this gleam of blue white light in the house now, the miner in spirit in his house, no longer with the horse, horse has vanished, he is in the house, His children are asleep in their beds, he goes into their rooms and looks at them, I feel the warmth and orderly coziness of this house, he goes into their bedroom and watches his wife asleep in their bed, he thinks of their wedding night and the start of their lives together and how much they love each other, grappling with the sadness of having to leave them. I see an image of a white envelope on the bedside table with a red wax seal on it, he has put it there, an image or symbol, like a certificate inside it, that they did well, that they lived well and did good things and had a good life together. (I have a sense that the envelope contains something, perhaps a Will, that will benefit her.)

I see him looking at the house wondering what she can get for it on the market. He is just standing there. I see a bright light approaching him from the wall by the window, a bright light, he thinks about the diamond ring she wears, he thinks of the diamond and that it is forever, and he thinks of the diamond itself, and he looks at the light and thinks, I am going into a diamond, I am going into forever, and he hears the room full of music, coming from where the light is by the window, he is moving into a tunnel, a light tunnel, being swallowed up by the light.

And his memories of the mine and the mine shaft float through his thoughts as he moves into the tunnel of light, and he thinks of how dark the mine was, and how bright this is, a different kind of tunnel and he is comparing the two, and thinking about his horse, and I see him now on the other side, he is in a green, soft beautiful valley, with rising hills all around, he is up on one of the hills overlooking the valley on a horse, black and white patches, horse stands switching its tail contentedly, he is looking at the valley at the world he has created in the valley, a beautiful place and it strikes me how immensely courageous we are that we move out of all the hard work we have done with our lives here on earth and move cheerfully and readily into a new world and find ways to accept the past is the past and others must go on without us, and we wish to create something new and we go forward with our hearts in it, and we put our hearts in it, and

Wherever you go, Go with all your heart, and that is what he is thinking as he looks at his valley, and you must go forward with all your heart and without resentment and without arguing, and he is contemplating how easy it is when we move forward without fighting or arguing over what we must leave behind and how hard it is when we fight and argue and fight for the past to come back and that Life is not Meant to be a Struggle, and we are meant to move forward to betterment and more expansion all the time and it is the nature of things. And the tape ran out..

And this miner was/is a real philosopher…must have been a reader, a thinker in this life. Regret I did not try harder to get more of a name.

(After completing this retrieval, it struck me how often horses seem to play a part in The Afterlife and the fact that I have never seen an automobile or any gas-powered engine there yet. Wondering about that.)


I intended to go to the Australian fires or Oklahoma tornado or something obvious, but upon asking where I might be of help, I found myself standing in a used car lot somewhere, could see the rows of cars and the plastic pennants flying in the wind.

Then suddenly I was looking out the back window of a quite-nice car, and we had just exited a tunnel somewhere in a big city, it felt like. As I watched, the tunnel receded into the distance very quickly and I felt the car was just flying along at great speed, much too fast, but very smoothly. I knew I was a young person.

Then I saw the back end of the car upside down on the roadside and knew we had crashed, not surprisingly. I saw a young man’s body with legs hanging out of the back side window and I was inside the etheric body of an adolescent boy looking at the mess and at my body.

I thought with anguish, Oh no, I had so many plans. I was going to do so much. There is so much to do…I have to get back somehow. Then a great light expanded down from the sky and he looked at it, and was enveloped in it and was drawn gently up into a bright place.

But the awareness that he had lost his chance to do so much drove him back, and he turned and “fell” back to the earth, beside the crashed car. He made a conscious decision to go back to his school, where he had friends, all of whom were working together on some valuable project.

First of all, we were in the Chem Lab. He stood looking around at the empty classroom (weekend) helplessly. The he moved to a different room, forget which one it was. He was so frustrated and a very, very intelligent kid. He just wanted to work, to make something wonderful with his intellect and his huge motivation. Now it was all lost, all over. He was anguished. He thought about his friends who would need him on the project. He was powerless and frustrated.

He was dressed in a nice smart wool gray jacket of loose, knubby knit and gray trousers. Not a uniform, but for some reason, dressed that way for this day with his parents or parent (out in the car).

I moved toward him, suddenly aware I could do something at last. I touched his left arm, he was standing facing me, looking around the room.

I pointed out to him a scene that was developing behind him. As he turned to look, a lovely image of an old, weatherbeaten country fence appeared, one of those kind with two pieces of grayed wood horizontally and some stuck and nailed vertically, making a kind of casual fence, easy to climb over. There was a meadow beyond the fence, lovely, and behind the meadow a bright yellow, yolk-like sun arose above the earth.

I said to him, You know this place, Spence. I knew his name was Spence or something like it. You used to visit this place. Where is it?

He said, That’s my Uncle Oggie’s farm. I used to go there and play in the meadow by myself when I was young. He indicated the farm was not far from where they had been living.

As we looked, I saw a figure clad in a dark outfit, with dark hair, approaching across the far side of the meadow. Guessing it to be Spence’s Guide, I ignored him and turned back to Spence and said something like:

“You had a great future here on earth, and you had planned so much. You have an enormous, generous heart that throws out vast fields of electromagnetic energy to all around you. You have a great intellect and huge imagination.

You wanted to work with your friends to do a specific thing in life. But because of your strong motivation to do good, and your maturity, higher powers than you and I have decided that, if you are willing, you can do so much more for the world from a higher level frequency. It means giving up your physical body and adopting a more highly tuned one…one that will match your high level motivation and dreams more effectively.”

“Spence, can you deal with that, or are you determined to stay in the physical?” I asked him.  He stood looking at me and at his classroom with regret and confusion on his face.

How did I know to say these words? They were somehow transferred from the Guide’s mind to mine and out my mouth, as I was surrendered to assisting in this retrieval.
This boy had been wandering stubbornly around his school for perhaps years, unaware of the passing of Time in this realm.

At that point, the approaching figure stepped up to us. I could see that the Guide/Teacher had chosen the costume of a SuperHero for Spence’s transition.

His costume was black and grey and very official looking. He looked like a Superhero.

He did not touch Spence’s arm, but just stood in front of him, gazing into his eyes.

“Well, Spence,” he said, “what’s it to be? You can stay here and operate at a lower frequency and do certain good things. Or you can come with me and be my student, and we will show you how to do infinitely more good for the World and everyone in it, from the higher realms. You are needed at that level more than you are needed here. What’s it to be?”

The next moment, Spence, riveted on this dramatic, confidence-inspiring guy, made a move to reach out to him. They two of them vanished before my eyes.

I thought of Luke Skywalker! We have all these new archetypes in our subconscious nowadays, thanks to the great writers and directors of Hollywood in recent years…wish there were more of them today.


This morning, May 12, I offered myself if I was needed to help anyone.

This is what came through:
First thing I see is a deluge of water pouring down a steep hill, it is dark out, I can see the white, churning water ahead of me and it is pouring down beside a metal fence, chain link type of fence, I am standing looking at a corner of a yard, and beside the fence on the outside is a very narrow path, I follow the path uphill, quite steep uphill and come to a break in the path, there is before me a deep chasm, looks like the earth has fallen away and taken about half or two thirds of the house and property with it, leaving the front bit intact.

I feel nervous about the chasm, asking myself, is it an earthquake? Or an explosion? Maybe a volcano erupted? Or is it war, and this was a bomb that was dropped? I can’t figure it out. There is no one around that I can hear. It’s very dark, no moon but by starlight I can see quite a bit.

There is no way to go except over the fence, so I grab the mesh on the fence, hoping everything will hold and not collapse with me under it, and over I go landing on the other side. I don’t know how secure this piece of ground is. No idea where I am in the world.

That water rushing down hill maybe was a break in a water main or in a dam.

There is a man, I’m given the image of a man hanging on to the fence along the front of the property, his feet dangle over nothingness, he is trying to hang on and not fall into the abyss that has opened below the edge of this property.

He is dark haired with a dark beard and dark eyes, a big strong man, he reminds me of Fiddler on the Roof in his appearance and dress. Wears dark trousers and grey vest over a cotton light blue shirt, the sleeves billow out in the wind that is blowing. He wears black heavy-soled lace-up shoes. He is hanging on by one hand, then by both. He is afraid.

At first I think he is the one I am to retrieve, perhaps he fell and died.

That imagery passes now and I am being shown that when this thing hit, I am being shown there was a light strafing through this area and it moved around all over and brought harm with it, maybe a war zone, an explosion of some kind that split the property in two and actually left the one part of the property collapsed at the bottom of a newly created cliff.

This imagery is passing and I am being shown that when this happened, the family was moving to the table, I smell the warm supper smells, see the tablecloth on the table nicely, I can see stencils of red flowers have been painted on the table around the edges, there are painted boards around the table edge and they are decorated with these colored stencils, red, large flowers. The table cloth drapes over the sides of the table a bit, but at the ends, it just fits the table top and reveals the stencilled decor at the ends.

There are platters and bowls of food for a good sized family on this table. I see hands placing these containers of food on the table, I see a bowl of mashed potatoes, can smell peas, like pea soup, a dark roast of some kind on the table too.

I am being shown an aerial view of the city, looking down on the city somewhere in the world, thousands of feet up, looking down. A port city on the ocean, being shown some kind of cement block setup, there is a dock thing jutting out and the piers are joined along the ends, almost like a ladder effect looking at it from the air.

As I am looking down at the aerial view, I can see far away below little blue lights happening like small explosions around the pier area, coming from the water underneath. I don’t know what those are.

Now they show me a garden gate, the gate opens. A lady steps through the gate, wears a white dress and white bonnet, very dress up material, stiff and crisp billowing white fabric in layers with cotton and silk petticoats underneath, a wide pink sash around the waist and a bonnet on her head shaped like the kind of bonnet you see in fairy tale figures, tied in a ribbon under the chin.

The sleeves of her gown are puffy where the fabric meets the shoulder and it puffs down to the elbow, where it is less puffy down to the wrist. At the shoulder area, where the fabric comes away from the neck to meet the shoulder puffy fabric, there is inserted a crisp, starched piece of heavy lace which juts up high in a curve around the shoulder, very nice.

She is very pretty, short looking dark wavy hair, wears bangs, her eyes are wide and dark, a pretty pink mouth, she is kind of a Betty Boop figure to look at her. Too perfect.

She is wearing little shoes, very pretty, little jewels on her shoes. She is holding something in her hand as she slips through the gate and she joins two other ladies in the garden there, this doesn’t add up with that metal mesh fence which looked like a modern fence, wondering if I am looking at past history of this property in a different time period.

I am really trying to tie all this together and so far it makes no sense at all. The man dangling, the women in period costume, all the same property with different fencing.

One of the other ladies is wearing also a cream colored dress sitting out in the garden in a swing alongside another woman who is seated. The lady who came through the gate joins them.

They are talking about a catastrophe that has happened somewhere in the area, involving an explosion or collapse of the earth. Very similar to what is happening to the property in the current time where the man is dangling from the mesh fence.

This is an old event that happened that is similar. Somewhere in the world where there are either natural explosions from under the ground, maybe earthquake, or else places where the earth tends to collapse without warning for some reason.

When I saw the little explosions of blue light coming up from the water around the pier, I wondered if the city is sitting over an underground volcano?? Maybe. I wasn’t given any info about the source of the catastrophe.
I am seeing a tree uprooted and turned over on its side laying on the ground, some details of this event far in the past. At that point, in that previous disaster, this particular property and area of the city was spared.

OK, now I get it. This is a case of people who died in the “past” not leaving the house they died in. The three ladies dressed in white are in this much more modern day yard where the man is hanging on to the fence over a chasm, and I thought he would drop and be killed and these ladies from the past are approaching him with great concern looking at him.

I realize suddenly that this whole thing is backward from most retrievals I have participated in. The man hanging from the fence is the Guide and is drawing the women toward the fence so I can address them.

At some time in the past, these ladies died while living on this property, and they all three stayed after death and have been “haunting” the house ever since, unwilling to move on or not knowing how, perhaps unable to hear the Guides talking to them.

They have been dead for probably hundreds of years now.

The collapse of the ground has given an opportunity to draw these women out, since the house they have been haunting is about to totally disappear and they will be left bereft of their “place”.

Seeing the dangling man all of a sudden, they approach where he hangs from the fence, very concerned. How can they help?

This is my opportunity. I watch this going on and find that I am in the garden approaching them, wearing old fashioned men’s clothing, dressed in skinny type trousers, a powdered wig, maybe dressed like a business person or an assistant to a professional person, strange looking pointy toe shoes, a vest and so on. I approach these ladies who appear to accept my appearance.

Now my attention is fully on the women, I can forget about the dangling man, he was just drawing the women near to this corner of the garden.

The man disappears, the ladies think he must have fallen, very frightened, one of them says, “The property is falling away, we have been here forever, there is nowhere to go, what shall we do?”

I reply that it is necessary to escort them to a safer part of town where the damage is not so severe. We walk along to the other end of the garden, where the corner has been torn away, there is a path which has also been largely torn away, we follow what is left of it down to the street below which is still whole. I begin to lead them along this street, it is so dark out I can hardly see, a late summer evening, and  looking at the four of us from above, and I see the ladies following closely behind the other “me” as we proceed along the street. Some kind of old lamps light the street here and there, maybe old Victorian gas lamps or something like that.

A lot of trees and shrubs in the darkness.

As we walk along, quite suddenly there is, out of nowhere, the sun shining, we move across a demarcation point from the darkness into the sunlight, and in front of us, across a green lawn, is a brick building, it looks like some kind of business or educational building. The ladies are silent as this transpires.

I realize that they all three now know what is happening, and that they know they are moving forward into the Afterlife at last. I step behind them and place my arm behind them to sort of “herd” them up the single step into the doorway of the building.

I say, “Now we are coming to the big building where we have to sign in” and though they look gravely worried, they step forward and for the first time in a long time, they stand in full sunlight, warm and welcoming.

Some person opens the door of the building for us from the inside, and we enter the doorway into the building.

The ladies are ahead of me, I make sure I get them all in the building before I disappear. But there is no one to greet us so I accompany them down the corridor, the sun is streaming down onto us from tall windows on the left.

As we approach the end of the corridor there is a stairway leading up and someone comes down it to greet the ladies. I can’t see them very well. Dressed in some green material, can’t see if they are male or female.

We are now outside the building, some procedure is completed and there is pretty carriage waiting for the ladies. It is drawn by three white horses. The upholstery is new looking, cushioned and very comfortable to look at it. Green again, with small silver flecks in it.

They climb in and are beginning to enjoy this adventure now they know they are safe. They turn away from me and the horse and carriage draws away.

That’s it. One of the strangest retrievals I ever was part of. Multi-layered in time zones!!

I’m looking first at what I thought was a small group of African children. But then the picture changes to a mass of people standing in a crescent formation across a wide wide plain, could be an invading army stretched out across a plain. I’m seeing branches breaking into bud and bloom and flowers opening. Spring sap is running. Life is growing.

It’s like they are saying, since ancient times, wars, invasions, suffering up to today with all the children orphaned in Africa, alone with no one to look after them and the natural disasters too, everything in human history, it has been the Winter of our time and although I can’t see how this can be, we may be entering the first touch of real springtime in human history.

The scene switches to something else, I see black storm clouds, lightning, thick, deluging rain, black skies. There is a young woman walking along listening to a tape recorder, earbuds in her ear, she is holding an umbrella.

It’s black out, pouring rain, packsack on her back, a black shiny raincoat, long blonde hair, bleached, damaged, straw quality to her hair. Some sort of factory, long shiny metal tubes, turning, and like turbo prop is the word, long cylinders being inserted into other cylinders, above me is the keel of a boat in a shop, this is a boat building yard and I am in the shed with her. She stands looking up at the keel of the boat.This young woman is smoking. She is a hard nosed young woman. Old for her years. Am I supposed to be retrieving?? If this is not a retrieval, I need to get out of here. This seems to have no purpose. She is inhaling the smoke deeply, I can sense her lungs, see her body with the smoke entering her body, see the state her body is in. She is coughing and smoking. I see the light around her body is very close in to her body and very narrow, her aura is shrunk right down to inches only. What am I supposed to do?

I just felt the “shift” take place in my body, up my spine, my shoulders, head, eyes, I am in my third eye now finally. (Still struggling to find where I am supposed to be going. What happened to Africa?)

OK, now I am in retrieval mode. Wherever I was before, I’m in Africa now. There is a horrific scene before me of several huts in what was a semicircle, and now they are on fire. There are a lot of people inside the huts.

I ask to help one of the African children who has died. I am in a room, dark, full of smoke and flames. There is a little girl there and other children. I can barely see them through the smoke. One little girl, I can see her dark hair clearly. She is the one I see most clearly. It is so full of smoke in here.

There is a little pet animal, maybe a chicken or something, running around in a panic.

I see a man standing in one of the rooms not yet aflame, with a raised torch, looking around trying to see what is going on. I can see the flames in the room beyond. The children are in some kind of, not exactly a cave, but it is like a few homes have been built interconnecting, so to speak, long rooms, and this man (white shirt and black trousers) is going along one of these tunnel like rooms, corridors, to where the fire is in an effort to get the children out and he is carrying a torch.

He has in mind an image of a little girl in a red and white dress, a happy little girl, these are all African people. He gathers the children around him and I send out like a rope or something, and say hang on to this, and they all grab hold of this rope coming from my back, and it is so confused in there, and we are transported instantly, the whole group of us, to the green grass of The Park in the Afterlife, and they are sitting there in the sunlight, in the Park in the grass, all these African children, and this man, his hand is still up but no torch in it now.

I don’t know if I feel like this was very truly a retrieval or very successful but it is all I got this morning and now standing in the Park I am hoping a Guide will appear because I have no idea what to do with all these people.

I am being shown in the same focus level a city, I think it is the city I have seen in pictures from authors who have drawn pictures of the Afterlife, I think Sylvia Browne has some pictures of this city, statuary and marble, this is where I am to take this group of people, I can see the city in the distance shining, a bit away from this part of the Park.

I have not been in any other part of the Park except the Picnic area, so I am casting a beam of light to gather up these people, the man is just on his last legs, he is so tired, the children are all looking to him, I am putting some light around them and I tell them I will take them to the Sanctuary where they will be taken care of and I reach out to the man’s hand and throw light around them all so we leave all together, and we are now standing by a central pool with a fountain coming up out of it and the water splashing down. We are in the City and there is marble everywhere. I have all these people and the kids are dazed and looking at the fountain and this beautiful city and the marble and it is all full of sunlight. Now there is a troop of people coming down the stairs toward us dressed in blue and carrying stretchers, at least I guess it’s stretchers, it is for the victims of the fire to be just taken to a medical centre, checked over, ensure they are ok and the man is still very worried about the children but he is ready to collapse and I am going to leave them there and I am coming back home. The only name that comes to me is the name Abdelah.

I have to remember this, that Spring is coming. So it says. That’s it for today.



Posted in Afterlife Contact, AFTERLIFE EXPLORATION, Life Story, Out of Body Practice, Remote Viewing, Soul Retrieval work | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment


My new short story, “Love, Food and Heaven”, by Vanayssa Somers, is out on Amazon!

Where can true romantic love take us? For this mystery woman, lost in dreamy memories of her first romantic love affair, it took her to far, unimagined pavilions of self-development and self-love. Leaving her country home as a naïve young woman, she fell in love with the one man on earth who had the experience and understanding to guide her into a full knowing of her own potential.

Introduced to worldly passions on many levels, from intense love-making to gourmet dining and the company of the finest minds on the planet, she grew beyond her lover, beyond her own wildest dreams.

Gazing into the leaping flames of her fireplace, on this evening she once more becomes the wide-eyed novice arriving in the big city, re-enters the body and soul of that vulnerable child-woman she was. Relives the tender moments of learning how to touch and be touched, how to turn every common event of life into something sensual on its own terms.

As flames leap in a winter fireplace, memories wander to her life choices, at the many gifts this profound romance provided her, the life path she finally chose, and the implications of true romantic love on an evolving human eternal soul.

Get it now! Here’s the link and the cover pic:

Product Details


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Many of my readers have shown a continued interest in the article about numbers and their meanings. Different authors have written books about this topic. Doreen Virtue, who has created a virtual reality around angels and fairies (a very pleasant world) has written such a book, for those who are continuing to follow up on this fascinating business of how the universe communicates with us through numbers. Take a look, copy/paste this search term into Google or just type in the words Doreen Virtue Angel Numbers Book, that will do it…this link is a long one.


Posted in Afterlife Contact, Creating Reality, In Love With Life | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment


Try taking a look at lacecurtain – this writer’s points of view about afterlife and the worlds beyond our own. Something new is always good.

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