When I began this Quest, on July 30, 1989, when my daughter appeared in my apartment, I was a firm atheist. To be shown beyond all doubt that there IS an Afterlife and that people can travel to and fro, talk to us, continue on in their own personalities (not disappearing into the God force as some believe, thought that might happen by choice as development continues on) and that we apparently are IMMORTAL beings, these new awarenesses made an immeasurable difference to my life.

For one thing, I gradually realized the incredible wonder of being born…the gift of life…that it means that this personality, ME, not as I was in some past life, but me right now in the 21st century, this ME that is sitting here typing, will live forever.

By virtue of having been born of earthly parents, their feet made of clay, imperfect, flawed and wonderful all at once, just by that one thing, I have been placed in God’s star-sprinkled universe for all time. For some reason, I am that special, that beloved, that valuable.


The Me I tried to destroy more than once as despair overcame me at times.

That person could never be destroyed. I now realize that.

Those I love on Earth, and those I…have trouble with!

All are precious beyond measure, all are immortal, all reach and aspire and struggle to improve, develop, do better next time.

All are worthy of PUL…Pure, Unconditional Love.

I learned that animals, too, live on forever, despite religion arguing to the contrary.

My pets await me there. When my little old black cat passes on, her warm furry body and little paws no longer sleeping beside me in my bed, she will arrive on those beautiful shores where my brother, Steve, will be waiting to scoop her up and add her to the menagerie he already is caring for.

My brother, who disapproved of everything about me all our lives here on Earth, now loves me so much that he took special care to protect her when she was lost, and made sure that she was returned to me.

They were watching. They knew my suffering and sorrow when she was lost. They knew every scary dark night she slept alone under logs and hidden in deep brush.

By the way, one of the other things all this means is…There is no privacy!! Discovering this new aspect of Life, we know we might as well quit worrying about privacy. There can be no such thing on the metaphysical level.

So many things come with this new knowledge. When it is time to let go of physical life, how easy that will be, knowing that tomorrow I will be riding the little black mare my family gave me for a gift, waiting for me over There. Knowing I will be eating ice cream in The Park, watching the sun glitter and sparkle on that ocean. Knowing I can wrap my arms around my beautiful daughter, also now immortal…because I gave birth to her.

Knowing that, after all, Lori achieved her heart’s desire to get to know her family. To work in her chosen field, whatever that may be.

Knowing that after I release my breath at last, Lori and I can finally sit down together and have that conversation. I can ask her what happened in the Children’s Homes. I can ask her what troubled her. I can apologize for not being able to communicate better, to be a more perfect parent.

And I can see my darling sister Anna again, now free of debilitating old age and memory problems, Anna as she was, brimming with life, caring for others, protecting the weak and vulnerable.

Anna, who also had to tread her learning path, growing in grace as she aged and learning to be more, better, more loving and more effective. As we all do on this plane.

And she will have her beautiful auburn hair again, swinging when she tosses her head, and she will look as before…so lovely!

My mother and father I will come to know as I never did while we were all here. Forgiveness, apologies, sorrow for my failings as a daughter, for my judgmental attitude, my unkind words I would dearly love to take back even now!!

And knowing that I can visit with them all, and others as well…old friends. Boyfriends I once loved and made love with! Old girlfriends I have not seen for years, people I have lost touch with.

Many of these will be in that area and over further experience (I hesitate to use the word Time) I will find areas where the rest are.

I will be able to sit in a beautiful natural setting under the Sun and Moon and talk and share and love all these people…and all my pets.

I wonder, sometimes, if Rock, the precious dog I so neglected, will be there. Or will he be with the family who lost him to thieves.

And I, myself, will be young again. My waistline will be 26 inches again! Imagine! Whatever I wish. I will be able to run and jump over logs in the forest again, to play badminton, to sail without being seasick, whatever I want.

And I will be able to go to University and learn to paint and play music and argue philosophy…whatever I want. It’s all there.

For people have created it, are now creating it even as we share this page.

One of my dear friends here on earth, who has now passed over, Garth, used to sit in his favorite chair here on Earth and put on music or a good movie…and channel it to his beloved wife and friends in The Park. He learned those skills after a great deal of work.

He used to set up a time and date to channel things he thought they might enjoy over There, and the notice would go round The Park…be at such and such a place at a certain time and Garth would be channeling some great movie or whatever. He told me there would be considerable gatherings for these events, and others, he said, did the same.

Copyright issues in all this are mind-boggling. (Joke.)

Well, to say that my Quest has been fulfilled is an understatement. I, the confirmed Atheist, learned far more than any imagination could have prepared me for.

There is no fear of Death when this knowledge enters. Of course, we all hope to die painlessly and quickly…preferably in our sleep. Except perhaps for a few brave and reckless souls who prefer to die “with their boots on”. Whatever you want.


About gentlenurse

Blogging is not only a pleasure, it is a basic necessity...I don't know how I have lived so much of my life without a blog. It gives me a place to write, a motivation to write, lots of reasons for reading lots of mind-expanding and challenging books, plenty to think about and be happy about. It has become a centerpiece of my retirement life along with my friends and pets, my faith and my afterlife journeys.
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