In recent years, social research into relationships has shown us what is no longer a surprise: we can change the quality and nature of our relationships if we change our thoughts about friends or family members.
We are learning that how we think and feel creates our reality. But the notion that we can change how others react to us – by using our thoughts – is a surprise.
Psychologists nowadays will address how we think about someone who is giving us trouble. This is different from trying to put ourselves in their shoes, using empathy to see their point of view. This is simply about changing how we think. For example, if you have a family member who is consistently difficult and bad-natured toward you over the years, and nothing seems to help, try this:
Go into a quiet mind space. Imagine spending some time with the person and having a lovely experience with them. Imagine warm and comfortable feelings toward them in your imagination. Use the power of your imagination to create a happy, supportive time together. Feel good, let your body relax all those tensions normally associated with being together.
As you practice thinking this way (no matter how your past experience seems to contradict this exercise!) you will find something that defies logic. You relationship will undergo a mysterious change.
Now, is this just because you are changing how YOU think and feel? No, it’s simpler even than that. By creating an imaginary reality where you get along well and appreciate each other, you create bands of light charged up and connecting literally to the energy field of the other person. These bands of light will be a non-stop connection between you and will transfer to the person all the warm, fuzzy feelings you are practicing. Without them knowing even why, their attitudes to you will alter.
It doesn’t take long. If someone has a really bad history with you, it may take practice and a little perseverance. And here’s the rub: we become hooked on self-justification and our mind keeps trying to switch over to the old, resentful mode or attitude, which is comfortably familiar. So this does take perseverance. Not to blame ourselves, but just to keep on practicing. It’s your secret, you don’t have to tell anyone…just do it, in your imagination. Try to hold the good feelings for at least seventeen seconds or so at least once a day.
One way I like to carry out this exercise is in using the simplest kind of OBE travelling. That is, travel in my mind to the person, offer to take them into inner space on a trip with me, probably to The Park in the Afterlife, and go visit someone we both know who has passed over.
The temptation to try this new exercise is usually irresistible to most people, and on a subconscious level they will reach out their hand and trust you to take them somewhere exciting and new.
When you have a clear image of the person you are going to meet, you can carry this exercise out and go request your difficult friend to join you.
This is how you do it:
Imagine them in their home or workplace. By using your mind, you will travel out of your own body in a process known as “phasing”, that is, mind-travelling. Your body is at home, your mind is both at home and also elsewhere. This is easy to do. Try it. Maybe practice this in stages till you see how easy it is.
When you address the other person mentally, just say hi as you normally would, and offer to take them with you for a trip to visit this mutual acquaintance together, someone who has passed over. They usually think about it and then say yes, sure. They normally reach out their hand at this point, or you can reach out to them and take their hand (using your imagination.)
As you gently tug on their hand, they will pop out of their body and you can take off. Now, as you head for an Afterlife destination, you need to picture some aspect of the location. For example, suppose they are not in The Park, perhaps they were profound Christians in their earth life, they would probably be found in one of the Christian Heavens. These are, like all Afterlife areas, artificially constructed (there is no other kind) places where believers automatically go to, or are led to, when they die. Over the centuries, all kinds of afterlife areas have been created by our thoughts and by our expectations, particularly as large groups, as in the case of major world religions. There are also places like The Park where those go who did not die in a state of belief in any religion, but knowing they would be in a wonderful Afterlife place of some sort. Sometimes, as in the case of your fortunate friend, they have already been to visit a place before death, so are familiar with the place and how to get there.
I wonder if I am being clear in this explanation. The power of your imagination is far beyond anything you have ever dreamed. You can recreate your whole reality by persevering, positive imagining efforts. Your mind is the first place where anything new or different is created. It is a powerhouse of creative oomph!
As you look for either a specific area – for example, a rose garden you know already is there – or a specific person, you will find it easy and automatic to land in the right place. It is immediate. There you are.
Remember that the person you have brought along is new to this, and will not expect to be meeting a deceased friend or relative face to face like this. It will be a real and stunning experience. Give them time to adapt to the idea.
You might just begin a conversation with the one you have come to visit, and after a minute or so introduce your friend, and say something like:”You remember ____? You used to hang out together” or whatever seems appropriate. When the two greet each other or hug perhaps, you know you have broken through the ice in what has been a difficult relationship. For obviously, nothing can be the same between the two of you once you have shared this mind and life-altering experience together. However, it is all on the subconscious level, so give it time to change.
To give it time, once you return your friend to their body and go back home to your own, continue to carry out positive expectation imaginings routinely, again, try to hold the good feelings for at least sixteen or seventeen seconds at a time, and this becomes easier as you continue.
Over the weeks or months ahead, you will find the old hardline resentments or negative interactions changing. This is a for-sure thing, because your relationship cannot remain closed and unfriendly when you yourself have absolutely altered your expectations.
On a more earth-level, you can change how you and your spouse interact just by practicing regular warm and appreciative interactions in your mind; changing how you feel inside toward them. As you keep this up, your marital relationship will become easier and more mutually considerate. You might make a list of things you have always appreciated about them, leaving out the bothersome qualities. This can get you started.
Of course, if there is a serious mental illness present, or the person is an addict, with long-established negative behaviours and attitudes, it may not be fruitful. There are exceptions to every rule. But for a normally healthy person, this skillset will help most relationships to improve. You don’t have to travel OBE or go to the Afterlife for it to work. However, Afterlife travel is one way of healing a broken friendship that I like to use, it’s a lot of fun for me and quite life-altering for the other person.
Have a go…it will surprise you, what the power of your imagination really can be!