As we set out on a path to learn about the many levels of spirit, develop our personal spiritual pathway, and find ways to connect with deceased loved ones in the Afterlife (AL), we generally start off in a bit of chaos. We might ask spirit to help us find a book or a website, we might join a group of some kind. We are simply out there looking for information and some sort of map.

But once we have a few bits of information and some idea of what we want to achieve, then at that point it is a good idea to ask spirit to help us figure out exactly what procedures we might follow.

There should be a move away from chaos toward a loosely defined, flexible kind of order in our daily practice.

Sometimes life gets so intense that we don’t work at any kind of spiritual practice, perhaps, for weeks or months. But for those genuinely interested in knowing more, rather than just accepting the beliefs of others, those ones always come back to that quiet place where they hope to increase their comprehension of the Afterlife in some way or other.

In order to make Order easy to access, there are a couple of things we can do.

First, the practical, earthly side of things. Keep your housework basically done up. Make a daily routine of doing the dishes, putting them away, vacuuming, sweeping, tidying up the bedroom. Put away those clothes that get tossed over the door or the chair, put things on hangars and just get them in the closet. Get the kitchen counters and table more or less cleared off once a day if possible.

I’m not talking about hiring a housekeeper here. But trying to focus on matters to do with the regions beyond Death when you are surrounded by a mess and the garbage hasn’t been taken out for days, well, you will find it difficult to settle yourself properly. The human brain works best in the midst of some sort of order, even if it is just a basic kind of tidiness.

Wonderful things can happen unexpectedly…we might suddenly receive a visit, or some signal that our deceased loved one is near, when things are a wreck in our living space. But to pursue the business of building a real body of knowledge and practical activities to do with the AL, you will make better progress if you do your basic housekeeping, ok? That’s all I am saying. Walk the dog, so he doesn’t whine and interrupt your meditative work. That kind of organization.

And make sure you shop for proper food and eat as well as you can afford to. Starvation can lead to amazing hallucinations, but they may not be helpful to this pathway you are trying to build.

That’s the first part, the more mundane but necessary stuff.

Secondly, we need to establish what a dear old spiritual teacher of mind, Garth Langdon, taught me: Rules of Engagement.

What do I mean by that? There are many examples, and they will vary depending on your own life, the relationship you had with the deceased and so on.

Simple ones might be:

If you are trying to help a grieving friend contact their lost loved one, you need some clear rules. These rules operate between you and spirit, for example: If spirit does come through and you can see an aura in the room, how do you know if it is a grandparent, a lost child, a male or female figure? If you develop your visual abilities in clairvoyance, you may see an aura of light, a vague shape. But who is it?

To find out clearly who has come forward for your friend, you will look to see where they are standing. Are they behind the person, directly in front of them, or on the right or left?

You will know the gender and probable relationship from this information, because you have already set up this system with spirit ahead of time.

Perhaps a soul standing on the right of the sitter is going to always be male. Since you have established with spirit that a lost child will be standing directly in front of the sitter, you know this person is not a deceased son. They are on the right, so they are someone else. You know it is not a grandfather, because you have set out the rules that grandparents are always standing behind the sitter.

So you have a spirit kindly responding to the sitter’s call, and it is not a child, not a grandparent. So you can safely say to your friend, There is a male person here who wants to say hello. It is not a grandparent or a child, so is there someone like perhaps a father, uncle, or a male friend who has passed over?

You can ask for specific details, and set this out with spirit beforehand when you are setting out your rules of engagement: you will be asking for an initial, for example. And you may arrange that if you can’t hear the “voice” very clearly, you will ask them to speak louder.

If you make an appointment with spirit, it is just as important to keep that date and time as if you were keeping an appointment with an earth person.

Why? Because when we arrive in the AL, we have healing and counseling work to do, often. We have connections to make with loved ones over there, we have things to make right. And we soon find work to do and social activities in which to participate. All these things involve appointments within the AL regions. So no one in spirit is available 24/7. Appointments are important.

Did you know that you can channel your favorite movies, music etc to loved ones in the AL? You can also read to them if you find a fabulous book you want to share. These are all very easy skills to learn. They all start with the power of your imagination, where belief becomes knowledge, bit by bit.

If you make an appointment to offer a terrific movie, maybe it has an actor your loved one admired a lot, you can set up the time and day with them, in advance, so they can arrange to be there. You will be sitting in a comfy chair with the movie going, you’ll be watching it yourself with one part of your brain while, with another part of your brain you are “sending” it to the Other Side. It is a bit of effort, no doubt about it! You become proficient at focusing intently for a couple of hours at a time. Of course, you can set up the appointment so there is an intermission to give yourself a break, however.

Where is “there”? It will be probably a public forum somewhere in one of the cities of the AL, and there will be a crowd there, not just your loved one. News spreads fast there, even faster than here, and as soon as you set up the day and time to show a movie or play a great orchestral piece (or heavy metal or whatever), then they will put out the word all over the AL. Many will turn up at the place and time to hear and enjoy your offering. You may have quite a large crowd there, and not know it.

So it is very important to honor your commitments with the deceased. You may disappoint more than just your own Guide or your own loved one.  Just do your best.

Another useful thing to know is, for those who are facing the imminent end of their life soon, arrangements can be made in advance to create a place where they can meet in future contacts with their earth friends and family.

If you expect to die within, say six months or a year, you can set about talking to those loved ones who are interested, and together choose to create, say, a lovely place in the forest, or in a park, where you will routinely meet to exchange warm feelings and support to get through the grieving period.

My teacher, Garth, had long ago created a huge spreading tree where he met with his beloved wife, Dorothy, after she died. They met daily there for years until he himself passed over. He invited me to go to that tree if I needed to talk to him at any time after he died and of course I have done so, and it was only poor stumbling efforts I made at first. But it becomes second nature with practice.

There are rose gardens and seaside picnic areas in The Park, for example, where people often meet their deceased loved ones. You just have to make the effort. And be fairly well organized about it. Make appointments and write them on your calendar right along with taking the dog to the vet, going to the dentist, and routine social engagements.

If you want to attempt to learn some of these skills, feel free to email me at I will try to help you on this pathway and can recommend books to read as well.

This post may give you pause to wonder about people who learn these skills? Do they have to be super-spiritual? Super-good? Let’s take a look at that in another post. It’s extremely interesting ground to explore.


About gentlenurse

Blogging is not only a pleasure, it is a basic necessity...I don't know how I have lived so much of my life without a blog. It gives me a place to write, a motivation to write, lots of reasons for reading lots of mind-expanding and challenging books, plenty to think about and be happy about. It has become a centerpiece of my retirement life along with my friends and pets, my faith and my afterlife journeys.
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